Conversation with Henry (aged 4)

Henry - Mummy, is this my rude finger? (accompanied by appropriate gesture)
Me - Yes darling, that is your rude finger.
Henry - Well... (gesture repeated) this isn't for you. It's for your hair.
Me - I see. Did you like mummy's old hair better than her new hair?
Henry - Yes, but I don't really mind (leaves, satisfied, point has been made).

Chemo 2

Feeling good again today after yesterday's chemo. How lucky am I?! The nurses think I'll probably carry on that way too. I did feel a bit more sick and tired yesterday evening but I think that was to do with the timing of the anti-nausea drugs (at bedtime instead of at dinner), because I woke up in the night feeling back to normal again. I'll adjust the timings for the next session as last time seemed to suit me better.

I almost couldn't have the session as my white blood cell count was too low according to Saturday's blood test. It seems strange, because I've been feeling so well, but it's a good warning that, in fact, maybe I am not invincible and I do need to take care to avoid infection. It is a good sign that the chemo is working on the fast-reproducing cells, which is the point of all this.

However, a repeat blood test prior to the scheduled session yesterday showed the count to be back up - on with the show. I have to give myself a white blood cell boosting injection today, to make sure that doesn't happen again. So that will be fun, hey. A whole world of new experiences! Diabetics have to do it all the time, what am I complaining about?

Oh, and my hair finally started falling out. I am moulting like a cat. Thank goodness I shaved it off when I did! I am loving my wigs and scarves - real hair is so overrated!!

Things that make you go hmmm...

Now, I can't remember exactly when my hair was scheduled to fall out but all I can say is that it hasn't happened yet. If I have shaved it all off for nothing, I'm not sure how philosophical I'm going to be. This will, I'm sure, be a relief for those who are somewhat concerned about me having turned into Pollyanna since diagnosis.

Apart from that, just wanted to let you all know that I woke up on Monday morning with no more residual bleugh at all from chemo 1, so I went off to a step class, all felt totally fine. Brilliant. Then I caught a cold from the boys on Monday afternoon. Not so brilliant. I was a little concerned as to how my body would cope, as I'm not supposed to have much of an immune system. Turns out that, rather than descend into pneumonia, I threw it off just as usual. I am soooo lucky. Either that or they've slipped me a placebo as part of some evil research project (visions of Fran Boyle dropping the civilised veneer the second we close the door behind us... MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!... Maybe not.)

The Dirty Blonde is Here

So today, still feeling fine following first chemo, I did the deed, cut off the hair that I must have had in the same style for oh, ten years! At least. About time. I went to my usual hair dresser and got her to section it off and ponytail-band it top and bottom to keep for selling/donating to charity. Then we chopped, and shaved down to a number 2. And then on with the wig - the Dirty Blonde arrives! Now, clearly, I can't possibly upload this post without a photo...

I chose when my hair goes, not the drugs! I never would have had the nerve to do this if I hadn't had too, mind you. It was reassuring to be recognised by the lady in the supermarket on the way home. And the children were gorgeous about it all when they came home from their sleepover. Mike wonderful, of course. As he should be, having been given a free pass to make out with a blonde! Love to all xxx

First chemo

I feel good doodndoodndoodndoo I knew that I would, now I feel good doodndoodndoodndoo, I knew that I would, now, So good, so good, I got anti-nausea medication. I feel good doodndoodndoodndoo, I knew that I would, now I feel good doodndoodndoodndoo, I knew that I would, now. So good, so good, I got anti-nausea medication.

So far so good, guys. I had my first chemo session 1.30pm today, all very pleasant in the Cottage at the Mater ('Cottaging' being the alternative title that I had in mind for this post, naturally). To date, no noticeable side-effects. It's now just coming up to 9pm. I feel maybe as though I've had a couple of glasses of wine, the slightest, vaguest background queasiness... Anyway, that's one down, only three to go of the big chemos.

Off to Look Good Feel Better workshop tomorrow to ensure ongoing glamour despite having a passing resemblance to Vin Diesel - which surely has to be an anagram of something. I'll leave it with you.

xxxK

Water baby

A week to go before Chemo starts, and I'm using it to make sure that I get as much of my fitness back as possible before next week. I started swimming a few laps while we were spending most of a sunny Sunday at Northbridge Baths - and it felt fantastic! Slight stiffness around the upper arm at first, which soon melted away. I swam again today and I'm just loving it. My arm and under my arm wasn't hurting at all, but it did feel a bit stiff which was annoying me. This seems to be helping so much in getting back to normal. Better than normal - let's not aim low. Swimming was the best feeling, I couldn't help smiling. Smiling and swimming do not always go well together, I've discovered. Makes your goggles leak.

The Lazy Blogger

(with reference to the old lincsea site, of course, for those who are part of that)

Hi everyone,

Sorry that I haven't been online recently. Tempted to say that I've been far too ill, as I know that excuse can get me pretty much anything these days, BUT the truth must out, I just haven't got around to it. I've either been working or having too much Christmas holiday fun, but I know that when I don't write anything people start worrying, so I thought I'd better get on with it.

So, what's new? I had a meeting with the legendary Fran Boyle on Christmas Eve (we are not worthy, we are not worthy...) and we are planning to start chemo Jan 18th. So that will be fun, hey. More fun than the alternative anyway. I'm sure it won't be pretty but I'm keeping an open mind. From the literature, it seems that I'll either be nauseous or ravenous, knackered or insomniac, fat or thin... so glad we've got that sorted out then.

It's been good to have a couple of extra weeks to get used to the idea of chemo. And to have an extra couple of weeks of hair over the holidays! But, more importantly, the extra time has allowed me to put myself more solidly in the space of looking forward to the treatments. I can almost feel all of that incredible medicine infusing my system already, knocking on the head any rogue cells that may have dared to evade my 'take no prisoners' approach to surgery and making sure I stay well.

A few things that rock about starting chemo that come to mind today:
- no leg hair, no underarm hair... I could go on!
- no need to spend time overcoming wild curls each morning
- I get to try out new looks I never would have dared to go near otherwise
- It get to spend time with some of the most brilliant, caring, capable professionals I've ever met
- I find out how tough I can be (mind you, childbirth would have done, thanks, however...)
- I find out how wonderful and supportive all the people around me are
- Oh, yes, then there's the one step further towards being well forever. Quite keen on that bit, actually.

Brilliant to finally catch up with Dimity and her friends after Christmas as well. And finally I get to meet Wiggy, who hasn't lead me astray yet but I can feel her rearing to go from her spot in my bedroom. With Wiggy the party girl and the Dirty Blonde, 2010 is definitely not going to be a dull year.